By Funom Makama
The topic of Love can never seize to end in terms of practical reality and human reasoning. Experiences of heart break and subsequent consequence of fear have made a lot of people say a lot of things about Love. What is love actually and why do people fall in it?
First of all, Love itself is true. There is nothing like true love. We often have this misconception and when we are deeply in it, we consider it true love. Does that mean there is false love? Love itself is love and anything above or below or beyond it is not love. It is pure and independent on its on and whoever is experiencing it is experiencing Love.
We often mistake love and the lover. A girl who was sobbing in the subway was approached by a young man to be consoled. She turned her very wet angered face towards the man as she screams "You men are heartless, I will never fall in love again!". This caught so many passengers' attention and then she walked away. Really! You will never fall in love again? And can you tell us why? Is it because your lovers have been hurting you or because love itself is mean to you? Most girls due to bad experiences proclaim celibacy out of frustration. You can never be a nun overnight and celibacy is a natural phenomenon which you have to be born with and not just acquired instantly in a moment. Why blame it on love? Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep record of wrongs that others do, it rejoices in truth, but not in evil, it is always supportive, loyal, hopeful and trusting and Love never fails. Is this what someone will proclaim not to experience?
A lover may exhibit jealousy, pride or selfishness, but that doesn't mean its a criteria of him loving you. Its just simply his human cons. When we end up with the wrong partner, maybe due to our carelessness or insensitivity to both sides of the person, we blame it on Love. No my friends, Love is blind and this is very true. What does it mean? It means love has no boundaries in race, color, height, social class, taste, and any other physical features. That is to say, a cobbler can marry a bank manager, a Hispanic can marry an African, a woman of 183cm in height can madly be in love with a man who is just 164cm; and a person who is seen as the weirdest, most unattractive could be as well cherished, worshiped and adored by another individual. Love is truly blind, but does it just end there? Absolutely No! The lover shouldn't be. What does this mean? In as much as you can love anybody from any race, color or other features which may not be parallel to yours, you still need to be careful, watchful and alert is loving someone who is very compatible to you. You have the right to know what you want and who can suite you best, then fall in love with such a person. You do not rush love and end up with the wrong person then finally blame it on Love again-that is absurd. remember, Love is patient and you just have to be as you grow stronger in it. You cannot know an individual for 3 months and conclude on marrying them.What exactly do you think you know about the person? Or do you think you are so engrossed in love that it is simply enough for you to spend your life with such a person?
An accountant, due to how tedious his job was vowed not to marry another accountant. There was a particular lady in his working place he has been avoiding. He tried all he could with other ladies and things did not just work out. After like 4 years of trials upon trials, he finally came to terms with the fact that he likes the lady but just avoiding her. He got to know her and they became the best couples ever. He used his job as a yardstick of love (which is wrong) and he was lucky enough to still come back and meet her available for him. A lady once said, she loves basket ballers and all she wants is to date and marry one. She was fortunate to date about 4 of them within the space of 8 months and it was horrible for her. The same thing she detested (pride) was the major characteristics of all the Basket ballers she knew. Finally, she came to terms with the fact that most of them are not really what she thought character-wise, finally, she fell in love with someone who was 5cm shorter than she is and not an athletic person in anyway.
We lust after some category of people and misconstrue this with love. Lust is totally different and it is something that is temporary. If we find out that we have this sudden passion and attraction for a certain category of persons due to some physical quality, then we should check-mate such desires. In most cases it is the wrong desire which may be taken to be love. You cannot be rigid to the specification of whom you will love. This is what is informally called "poppy love" or "high school love". 'The guy must be tall, huge, very athletic, strong, from a Jewish home' etc. And the funniest thing is sometimes we carry too many specifications for one person that such a person do not even exist in the world. You cannot channel love to whomever you want, it is a natural feeling which just comes and you feel it for a person after a while of attraction. Poppy love is very dangerous and it is so ridiculous to see some Adults doing this. Love is not about been pretty, or been rich, or been spiritual or been honest. Yes, these may be added qualities of attraction, but it takes two to love and if two halves come together to form wholeness, there must be cohesion and a perfect fitting for them to blend. Don't you think?
Finally, you are urged to leave your heart open to whoever it may finally love, nevertheless do not be blind in choosing who is more compatible to you because if you get hurt, its definitely not the fault of Love but the lover (either one of them or both of them). Make things right and do what is necessary to compliment this wonderful, God giving gift called Love. It is actually blind, but you the lover should never be!
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Good luck.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Love-Is-Blind-But-the-Lover-Shouldnt-Be---The-Very-Language-Which-Never-Seizes-to-End&id=5347708] Love Is Blind But the Lover Shouldn't Be - The Very Language Which Never Seizes to End
